a good day!

It is 6:05 pm. Here is what is usually happening with me at this time: I am so exhausted I am ready to retire for the night, I am so nauseous that nothing sounds good for dinner, I am devoid of all motivation to do anything except lay on the couch. But not today! Today I am upright, entertaining dinner options and just now starting to feel tired from my day. Dare I say I am turning a corner? I even went to the grocery store after school! (sidenote: do not go to Trader Joe's on the first day you are feeling well. i bought way too many unneeded items! but everything just sounded so darn good i couldn't resist...)

Cravings are CRAZY!

Here is the latest photo of Baby Lowe! S/he is 11 weeks 3 days in this picture. Yesterday we had an NT scan, where basically they are taking measurements of the baby's neck to see if it appears to be at risk for Down's syndrome. Baby checked out perfectly! On the left you can see his little face and ear. In the middle those little white spots are fingertips, and on the right that white blob is his foot hanging out up in the air. What a cutie!

Yes, i am referring to the baby as a boy. With zero evidence, just a hunch. We won't find out that information for another 2 months. My latest nickname for him is Mike Jr. That is definitely NOT going to be the name we go with, just something that makes me laugh!

As i progress through pregnancy, it's been funny to me the different foods I've been craving. At first it was all dairy: cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese. Then the thought of dairy made me want to yak, but anything citrus was hitting the spot. Yesterday I started craving sweets like crazy. As a chocolate lover, this is not really new, but the difference being all i want is ooey, gooey caramely stuff. So bizarre.

Heartbeat, sweet heartbeat!

This morning we had an appointment at the OB and we were able to hear the baby's heart beating! We had previously SEEN the heart beating on ultrasound, but today they used a Doppler machine so that we could HEAR it! It took a little bit to find, which definitely frightened me a little, but it turns out that the nurse needed to put the instrument a little lower on my belly and then it came up right away. It was a beautiful sound! I had asked M to record video on his phone so we could play it back...but we were a little overwhelmed and it never happened. Also, the nurse didn't tell me what the heartrate was and I didn't think to ask. I was just on cloud nine breathing a huge sigh of relief.

I had made a promise to myself that if everything went well today I would do my best to start believing in this little guy and stop assuming that something is going to go wrong to take it all away from us. So today is the first day of my new optimistic attitude. Baby Lowe is not going anywhere! This is the one that was meant to be. In August I will be holding this baby in my arms, not just in my heart.

10 weeks!

Yesterday I officially hit the 10 week mark! I love reaching each new milestone. As of yesterday, I am done with taking estrogen each morning and my lovely twice-daily progesterone suppository. Definitely won't miss those!

Things are starting to feel more real, but I still haven't eliminated the doubt that exists in the back of my mind. When will I ever relax about everything? Don't get me wrong: i am NOT constantly stressing, and i AM appreciating and loving every day that I am pregnant. But I do have moments where I am convinced that we've had our share of good news and it's now time to return to the same-old, same-old routine of finding out that things aren't going well. I will feel a lot better after our next appointment (Jan. 18, just after 11 weeks) when we will get to hear the heartbeat and get reassurance that little baby Lowe is still alive and well.